Sunday, August 8, 2010
Why Can't Kids Learn How to Hibernate Like Bears?
Every Novemberish black bears and probably bears of other colors head to their tidy dens in preparation for a nice 6 month nap. Although human genetics is not in alignment with bears, it truly would be a joy if parenting was a 6 month a year gig. I mean, how difficult could it really be during the first few frustrating months of school knowing little Johnny just has to hang on til Thanksgiving and then his failures will soon be forgotten. Plus, imagine the impact this would have on turning back the inflated divorce rate (currently at 51% unrespectably). For those couples who pin their problems on parenting differences, well a half year would seem to be enough time to regroup and sneak in a few dates. This would keep kids out of every conversation, save on babysitting fees and allow the adults to truly own their poor problem-solving skills without using their kids as co-conquerors in their quest for family understanding. Of course, Christmas and Hannukah would be a bit on quiet side. And parents would have the option of stowing away their kids gifts to be opened during Spring Training or just hope that they forgot about St. Nick and move forward with assigning their 6 month chore list. With an 8 year old boy only having really 4 quality years (subtract the sleep)there's a good chance parents would tolerate more of their annoying ways. It's possible too that the young people's awareness of impending hibernation could kick in a willingness too not want to destroy their siblings- even if only for one less day. If only they could come up with a pill, let's call it ahhhh...hmmmm...yeah, the hibernation pill, then all other human issues that get back-burnered until the retirement years (when at that point we no longer give a crap anyway)could be addressed in a more productive and only quasi-hostile environment. This would allow possibilities for couples that would otherwise be blamed on being kid craze. Shall we toast to and await the hibernation pill.
Cheers in hope,
Bryon
Cheers in hope,
Bryon
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